Underneath this smile
by Water-star
Summary: Song fic of Hilary Duff's 'Underneath this smile.' Asuka reflects on her life while being in Tokyo 3 for 7 years as she runs away. Rated T just to be safe.


Underneath this smile:

Asuka sighed sadly as she looked at the apartment she had been living for 7 years. She had spent one third of her life here and now she was leaving, Tokyo-3, Japan, and everything she loved, forever. She turned away and began walking from everything that her life had consisted of.

_What I'm standing on is sinking in_

A tear began coming down on her cheek and she wiped it away quickly. 'Stop it. You're Asuka Langley Sorhyu. You swore you'd never cry again.' But she couldn't help what she was feeling, she was heart broken and all she could do was walk away.

_And I don't have a clue how to get off of it_

With each step she was taking, she was falling apart because for once in her life she opened her heart and got it broken once more. Because over those 7 years Asuka had changed, she began opening up to people and be love all of them. Especially Shinji.

He too had changed, he grew a backbone and knew that he couldn't be afraid of being hurt. But he was still Shinji, the boy Asuka began to fall in love with. In highschool he was the most popular boy in school, he was in all the sporting teams and all the girls fell for him.

_But when I look at you there is hope_

He helped Asuka when she needed a friend and they soon began to develop a close relationship. They were almost alike because they both understood each other. He made Asuka feel loved. He knew when Asuka was happy or sad.

_It's like you see the sadness in my eyes_

_You read the blue between the lines_

Asuka could always depend on him. He was the only one who had seen Asuka's true side.

_You could be the one to hold me when I wanna cry_

Everyone else may have been fooled by Asuka's acting but only Shinji could see when she was falling apart. Even when they were 14, he could see her fear of breaking apart. All Asuka wanted was to be saved from her crumbling world.

_Underneath this smile_

_My world is slowly caving in_

_All the while_

_I'm hanging on cause that is all I know_

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit_

_That has helped me dig this hole?_

For years she hid herself as loud & brash because she was afraid of opening up and getting hurt again like she did with her mother and father.

_I've been hiding out for miles _

_Underneath this smile_

So she remained like that for years, hoping no one would ever see her true side or her past except for Shinji. He never gave up.

_I have walked this earth with broken bones_

_I've been keeping secrets under all these lights_

He did it over and over again of getting hurt in the stage but kept trying again just so Asuka could be herself.

_But when you're around my defences go_

Many times Asuka got scared and would try and run away so that she wouldn't get hurt or exposed but Shinji wouldn't let her go because he wanted to help her to not be afraid anymore.

_You don't let me runaway from you_

When Shinji confronted her, she'd always lie and tried to escape. But Shinji knew better and that scared Asuka because she always felt naked & exposed when he could see the little girl inside of her.

_You don't let me twist and turn the truth_

_It feels as if I'm naked when you're standing in the room_

And so after many years Asuka finally broke free from her curse and she became herself, except she still hid one part of herself. And that was she was in love with Shinji, her love, her savior.

_Underneath this smile_

_My world is slowly caving in_

_All the while_

_I'm hanging on instead of letting go_

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit_

_That has helped me dig this hole?_

Everyone could see who she truly was but no one see the most important thing to her.

_I've been hiding out for miles_

_Underneath this smile_

After years of inner battles with herself, she had finally decided she was going to tell Shinji today. But today had turned out to be the worst day of her life because on the roof of the apartment complex, she saw Shinji & Rei kissing. And it wasn't any kiss, it was one of 2 soulmates joined.

_Underneath this smile_

_Oh yeah_

Luckily Shinji & Rei didn't see Asuka as she quickly ran back to her room and started to cry uncontrollably.

_Underneath this smile_

_My world is slowly caving in_

She was happy that Shinji found someone he loved because he deserved it but it couldn't take the pain from her heart so she grabbed her red & black backpack and then put all the nessecary items in. She wrote a quick note and then ran out.

_All the while _

_I'm hanging on instead of letting go_

'So this is it.' Asuka thought as she walked away. She was leaving Tokyo 3 with a heavy & broken heart after 7 years, today she tough she was going to be saved once more but her dreams were shattered. It became too unbearable for Asuka to contemplate so she tried to hum a song by Hilary Duff.

Just then it began raining. Which described Asuka's mood perfectly. She shivered a bit though because all she was wearing was a crimson halter top, a black pair of shorts and black strapped platform high-heels because it was summer. But she didn't care at all because she wanted to get out of here.

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit _

_That has helped dig this hole?_

"For once I decided to open my heart again but it wasn't worth it at the end." She whispered as another tear ran down her cheek.

_Underneath this smile_

"ASUKA! ASUKA!" A young man shouted.

"Huh? Shinji? Oh great!"

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit _

_That has helped dig this hole?_

Shinji finally caught up and took a quick breath before speaking. "Asuka, I just read a note that you just wrote and it says you're leaving Japan!"

"Wow looks like my kanji has improved hasn't it?"

"Asuka please..."

"Look I don't wanna hear ANYTHING from you. I'm happy you found your soulmate and now all that crap. But I have to go back home. So if you'll excuse me..."

"What! What do you mean 'Me & Rei'! And home! Your already home. Here with all your friends and me."

"CUT THE CRAP SHINJI! I SAW YOU KISS REI AND A KISS LIKE THAT ISN'T SOMETHING YOU JUST IGNORE! AND GERMANY IS MY HOME NOT JAPAN BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE YOU IN IT!"

"Why do you even care if Rei & I are an item? I thought you considered me an idiot and a pervert!"

"I never did. Good bye Shinji." She then turned around and walked away.

_I've been hiding out for miles_

"Asuka, you can't leave because I love you."

_Underneath this..._

She stopped, making Shinji walk up to her and turn around so that she could face him, he was a lot taller than Asuka now and she always felt small when he was around her. He had changed a lot over those years and Asuka had always recognised it. She looked into his eyes to see any lie there but saw nothing but love.

_Underneath this..._

"What about Rei?"

"She told me that she was in love with Kensuke but kissed me because she was telling me good luck for when I would tell you that I was in love with you. And I swear it's true Asuka. I don't love you, I'm in love with you. You're the only girl who I could ever love and not afraid of opening up to because you're my angel. And not the demon like ones, but a pure & beautiful angel who I need, to feel alive." A tear came down Asuka's cheek and Shinji wiped it away with his finger.

"I love you too. For a few years now because you're the only one I wanna be held on when I cry and when you see the true me. You're my hero, my savior, the love of my life." And then they 2 adults kissed filled with passion & emotion. A true love's kiss.

_Underneath this smile_

"Let's get out of this rain or you're gonna catch a fever." Shinji said.

"Alright, but Misato, Rei and Pen Pen will be there. And that ruin the best night of my life." Shinji picked her up after she said that and carried her back to their place.

"Don't you remember Asuka? Pen Pen's at the vet. Misato's gone out on a girl's night out with Ritsko & Maya. And Rei left 5 minutes after she kissed me. So it'll be just you & me." Then gave Asuka a wink.

"Well then, my night is perfect then." And then Asuka looked up to the sky. Coming to the conclusion that it had stopped raining, showing all the stars & the moon were there as if it had never rained. Then on that night, 2 young adults made the decision to combine their hearts as one.

_What I'm standing on is sinking in. _

AN: What do you guys think? Sorry it had to be such a long songfic but it felt right doing it this way. I used a Hilary Duff song for this because if you listen to her songs you realise that most do relate to Asuka in some way. Please R&R if you like it.


End file.
